Just as what is considered to be sexy differs from person to person, we also have different ideas of what is age appropriate.
For instance, my crazy friend Dawn (with the half-shaved head, bright,
shiny, and fuchsia baby-doll dress and zebra-print pumps) thinks skinny
jeans are not appropriate after forty. And my sensible, conservative
(cardigans, pearls and khakis) friend, Lori, thinks maxi-dresses are not
age appropriate. I disagree with both of them. We've seen many a time
that what looks appropriate on one person may look ridiculous on
another. Although fashion is unique to the individual, there are some
universal truths as to what is or isn't sexy or appropriate:
Don't try too hard. If you're trying to be sexy, you're probably not actually being sexy. Making a duck-face out of your over-glossed lips while staring down a stranger, then seductively licking sugar off your martini glass is embarrassing, not sexy. Sexy should be effortless. And sexy should only be meant for one person. No, not you. None of that selfish "the-goal-in-life-is-all-about-whatever-makes-you-feel-good" junk. (Anyway, why would you need to be sexy for yourself... that's just weird.) Feeling pretty for yourself is important, but dressing sexy should be for your significant other.
Simple is sexy. At every stage in my life, I've heard guys say they find simplicity in women sexiest. Not big hair and piles of make-up.
Hunky hubby says he finds me the sexiest in the morning, crazy hair and all, when I'm walking around in my wife-beater tank and PJ bottoms.
Now, if I were to walk around the grocery store like that... NOT sexy.
Confidence is sexy. Truly confident women don't need to try too hard. They know that the best parts of them are the ones that take time to discover.
Pick your body part. If you're wearing skinny jeans, wear a loose fitting top. If you're wearing a fitted top, try pairing it with slouchy pants or knee length skirt. Don't make your body parts compete against each other-low-cut, open-back top, super mini skirt, platform pumps-in a word: Yikes! Maybe you have great cleavage and fabulous legs... awesome! But that doesn't mean it's sexy to show it all at once. You might look amazing in it, but you'll look amazing and desperate. And it's only going to get you the wrong type of attention. The guy you want to be with won't like you because he'll never see you. Unless, of course, that is you and then he'll see you, and want to be as far away from you as possible. And if you're over forty, single, and still dressing like that, you might want to ask yourself how that's really working for ya.
Note: Other women don't hate you because you're beautiful; they don't respect you because you're not respecting yourself.
Avoid the Following:
The Hooch Factor. Real men don't want their wives or girlfriends showing all the goods to all the people. If a guy does ask for that, and if the woman agrees, it's a sign of deep insecurity on both of their parts. The guy is using your body to show everyone he's the man and the woman is using her body to show everyone this is the best thing about me. And, quite frankly, that's almost never true. If it is true for you, sorry... that sucks. You spend hours at the gym, why not focus on developing other body parts... like your brain? It will last much longer than your hot little legs.
Frump Factor. On the other end of the spectrum we have frumpy: Ladies, you can dress modestly and not be frumpy. You can be well above your ideal body weight and not dress frumpy. Frumpy might be comfy, but it looks messy... and frigid. Trust me-your partner does not appreciate that look.
School Marm Factor. Dressing older than you are: AKA the school marm look is not sexy. Why settle for boxy pantsuits when they have so many feminine-cut, and reasonably priced options available. And no more cotton, boxy turtlenecks. Unless you need to cover a hickey (which are not appropriate at any age), cotton turtlenecks appear stuffy and dated. Turtlenecks in a soft material such as cashmere, however, are always nice. A cowl-neck is also a much less severe looking option that I happen to love. Oooh, scarves too!
For the record, I wear both skinny jeans and maxi-dresses. I wear little black dresses & pearls and camo pants & tank tops. I wear turtlenecks (to ski). I shop at Saks and at Forever 21. I might break Rachel Zoe's fashion rules, but I don't care-I don't break mine. And Hubby likes my style.
He tells me frequently that he loves the way I dress. He loves that I don't flaunt my body. He loves that I wear lingerie for him only... not for a night out on the town. He loves that I wear heels. He loves that I wear make-up. And he loves it when I don't feel like I have to.
Homework for today: Ask your guy what he thinks is sexiest on you. Then wear it for him. Ask him what he thinks is not sexy... then get rid of it. If you already know, please share with rest of us.
Don't try too hard. If you're trying to be sexy, you're probably not actually being sexy. Making a duck-face out of your over-glossed lips while staring down a stranger, then seductively licking sugar off your martini glass is embarrassing, not sexy. Sexy should be effortless. And sexy should only be meant for one person. No, not you. None of that selfish "the-goal-in-life-is-all-about-whatever-makes-you-feel-good" junk. (Anyway, why would you need to be sexy for yourself... that's just weird.) Feeling pretty for yourself is important, but dressing sexy should be for your significant other.
Simple is sexy. At every stage in my life, I've heard guys say they find simplicity in women sexiest. Not big hair and piles of make-up.
Hunky hubby says he finds me the sexiest in the morning, crazy hair and all, when I'm walking around in my wife-beater tank and PJ bottoms.
Now, if I were to walk around the grocery store like that... NOT sexy.
Confidence is sexy. Truly confident women don't need to try too hard. They know that the best parts of them are the ones that take time to discover.
Pick your body part. If you're wearing skinny jeans, wear a loose fitting top. If you're wearing a fitted top, try pairing it with slouchy pants or knee length skirt. Don't make your body parts compete against each other-low-cut, open-back top, super mini skirt, platform pumps-in a word: Yikes! Maybe you have great cleavage and fabulous legs... awesome! But that doesn't mean it's sexy to show it all at once. You might look amazing in it, but you'll look amazing and desperate. And it's only going to get you the wrong type of attention. The guy you want to be with won't like you because he'll never see you. Unless, of course, that is you and then he'll see you, and want to be as far away from you as possible. And if you're over forty, single, and still dressing like that, you might want to ask yourself how that's really working for ya.
Note: Other women don't hate you because you're beautiful; they don't respect you because you're not respecting yourself.
Avoid the Following:
The Hooch Factor. Real men don't want their wives or girlfriends showing all the goods to all the people. If a guy does ask for that, and if the woman agrees, it's a sign of deep insecurity on both of their parts. The guy is using your body to show everyone he's the man and the woman is using her body to show everyone this is the best thing about me. And, quite frankly, that's almost never true. If it is true for you, sorry... that sucks. You spend hours at the gym, why not focus on developing other body parts... like your brain? It will last much longer than your hot little legs.
Frump Factor. On the other end of the spectrum we have frumpy: Ladies, you can dress modestly and not be frumpy. You can be well above your ideal body weight and not dress frumpy. Frumpy might be comfy, but it looks messy... and frigid. Trust me-your partner does not appreciate that look.
School Marm Factor. Dressing older than you are: AKA the school marm look is not sexy. Why settle for boxy pantsuits when they have so many feminine-cut, and reasonably priced options available. And no more cotton, boxy turtlenecks. Unless you need to cover a hickey (which are not appropriate at any age), cotton turtlenecks appear stuffy and dated. Turtlenecks in a soft material such as cashmere, however, are always nice. A cowl-neck is also a much less severe looking option that I happen to love. Oooh, scarves too!
For the record, I wear both skinny jeans and maxi-dresses. I wear little black dresses & pearls and camo pants & tank tops. I wear turtlenecks (to ski). I shop at Saks and at Forever 21. I might break Rachel Zoe's fashion rules, but I don't care-I don't break mine. And Hubby likes my style.
He tells me frequently that he loves the way I dress. He loves that I don't flaunt my body. He loves that I wear lingerie for him only... not for a night out on the town. He loves that I wear heels. He loves that I wear make-up. And he loves it when I don't feel like I have to.
Homework for today: Ask your guy what he thinks is sexiest on you. Then wear it for him. Ask him what he thinks is not sexy... then get rid of it. If you already know, please share with rest of us.
Rachel M. Hills
We know that life takes us each down our own roads with crazy, unexpected turns--beautiful, funny, heartbreaking, breathtaking, encouraging, or just plain mind-boggling. We don't always know what's around the bend...just that it bends. This Blog is about Relationships,Choices, Mistakes, and Accomplishments--It's about Life...with all its twists and turns.
We know that life takes us each down our own roads with crazy, unexpected turns--beautiful, funny, heartbreaking, breathtaking, encouraging, or just plain mind-boggling. We don't always know what's around the bend...just that it bends. This Blog is about Relationships,Choices, Mistakes, and Accomplishments--It's about Life...with all its twists and turns.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar